| so... I just want some one to complain to. I hate this. I moved to CO 2 months ago with my parents. and I hate it. Its such a small town, in the mountains. I have no friends, I'm with my mom all the time, the only people I ever see or talk to are my parents and as much as I love them I'm so stinking lonely. I'm 20 years old and I feel like I'm 15. my mom rearranged my room cause she didnt like the way i had it. everything is just sooo aaaagh! I dont even feel like i belong in my family. I feel like my parents have stepped into a new place in their relationship, and i just dont belong. I want to leave, but I cant. even if my dad would be ok with it, my car isnt in the condition to drive 1600 miles to Springfield if thats where i was gonna go. I miss my friends. I miss being able to call some one up and say hey! lets go get coffee, or go to a movie or something. I am not adjusting. I want to go off by myself, but then i think about it and its like dang i'm by myself. My cousin told me that maybe God has me in a place where i have to realize that all I need is God. That He's going to show me what he has planned for me more than He ever has before. But this is just so hard. I miss my friends, I miss laughs, and hugs and spending 15 minutes in the parking lot after church trying to think of something to do. I miss having people know me. I miss 1234 and the wiggles and ....... Oh God did I make the right decision? Help me see what steps to take next. |
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| sean gushes about me... hahaha... aww |
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| time for me to once again be depressing. I miss my friend... so much. and there is absolutely nothing i can do but pray... You know, I trust God with all of my heart... with all of me. but it doesnt take away the pain of knowing. it doesnt take away the fact that i miss my friend. I really miss them. I used to talk to them everyday... tell them everything, but not anymore. God it hurts. I'm so sorry for what has happened... I know its not my fault, that I did the right thing... but i'm still sorry... I know God heals all... in His way, in His timing. I've just got to hold to that...... but its going to be hard. Faith is not for the weak i suppose. |
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| so the sound doesnt work on my computer.... its making me angry. roar. enimdisyifytihikygofatdasbuyhctsygonfweyaicfimhamhwgono that really is something... not just random letters... if you actually care to know.. ask. |
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| i'm tired. and suck at updating. sorry. |
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